My Husband’s Many Wives, Then There’s “Me”

Recently, during one of my morning devotional sessions, as I was praying for my friend, I began reminiscing about the man that Randall Benjamin has become since I met him in 1983. As I was thinking about Randall Benjamin, my mind shifted quickly to some of his wives over the past 30 years. Although Randall is an elder in the church, you probably didn’t know that he has had a number of wives. I want to introduce some of them to you, but, you have to promise that you won’t judge him for taking on so many women.
Randall’s first wife was from a legalistic pentecostal “charismatic” church organization where “everyone,” except those of this group’s persuasion, were doomed for hell. This wife was sure that she usually had the correct answer for every question, especially since Randall’s church association had been with a religion where people still participated in “things of the world.” The women in Randall’s religion wore pants and lipstick and wore flattering dresses that made them look more attractive. This wife was sure that she was more sanctimonious because those were generally not her practices. Randall eventually got rid of that wife.
Another one of Randall’s wives was not as immersed in legalistic religious practices as his first wife, but, she still had some issues. This wife, no offense to Randall, was quite strong willed. It had to be her way. She was not so amenable to allowing Randall to operate as the head of the household, going about making some decisions on her own, sometimes at the cost of the bank accounts. Imagine the uproar these situations caused.
One other wife of Randall’s was determined to make sure her point was taken and that it was the last word heard. This wife, although she spoke only one language, was skilled at synthesizing words, making her dissertation crystal clear, presenting it in such a manner that hardly anyone could dispute the discourse, not even Randall. What could he say? After all, she had all but pounded the gavel. He did what any “good” husband would do. He took on another wife.
You just met some of “My Husband’s Many Wives, Then There’s Me.” I am Randall’s last wife, but, I am also his other wives. As I was praying for Randall during my devotional and considering how God has molded him into an outstanding husband and father, God did a u-turn in my thinking so that I would do an inventory of myself. When Randall married me more than 30 years ago, I doubt that he expected to marry so many wives in one. And, I only learned to look at my character after I got married. Actually, I should say, “I didn’t begin to deal with the real me until I agreed to join in covenant with my husband, Randall Benjamin.” It was at this time that I had to face me if I wanted to contribute to a successful marriage. I had to make the conscious effort to stand in front of the mirror of God’s word and allow Him to show me what I needed to wear to become more appealing in His sight.
Even though I have loved and walked with the Lord for a long time, it was still a challenge for me to let go of me and give God the total rein of my life. You see, I had been paying my way long before I met Randall; such as college tuition, a new car, an apartment, shopping and buying when and where I desired. And, joining in Holy Matrimony with someone who was changing my way of operating was not so easily done. However, after reluctantly relinquishing my will to God’s will, the rewards were, and still are, immeasurable.
It’s interesting to step back and observe how Randall patiently dealt with each of his wives. One might wonder why, as an elder in the church, he kept taking on one wife after the other. This speaks volumes about his character.
Randall is a man after God’s heart. He kept fasting. He kept praying. He continued to live his life, saying to the Lord, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”
I thank God for Randall’s obedience to the Lord which has helped me to grow and to pray, “Make me over Lord. Help me to operate as the wife in this marriage who will be a true help meet for Randall. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.”


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